I was accosted, hit by a truck, and watched as my dog was chased down by a snowmobile - all by the same person. It was a pretty rough day. Man my arm hurts.

Here in South Portland, we have this wonderful open space called Hinckley Park. It’s a good sized area complete with a hiking trail network, two fishable ponds, and large open fields. We don’t have a strict leash law, and Hinckley is considered an off-leash park that is visited by hundreds of dogs (and their people, of course) every week. There are some basic safety rules in place, such as no bicycling, no vehicles, and no snowmobiles. The trails are small, narrow, and windy with no much of a good forward view, so they’re definitely not ideal for more than walking - even jogging them can be dangerous to others!

Today, when we (doggies and I) arrived at the park, there was a guy riding a snowmobile around the trails and through the fields. When my dogs were out playing, he came zooming through with the throttle wide open and didn’t slow down even slightly. I made a “get out of here” gesture with my thumb and he rode over to me and began to accost me for not having my dogs on an “8 foot minimum [sic] leash”. When I attempted to point out that he was incorrect and that Hinckley was a city-sanctioned off-leash area, he started to yell at me. I should back up here and make sure to mention that I had been taking photos of him with my iPhone while he was riding through the field. When I was up close, I got a nice picture of the asshole, plus I also got his (expired!) registration number from the sled. I told him I was calling the police, and he said he’d wait there while I did so he could prove me wrong. I dialed, and as soon as dispatch answered he sped away.

But not first without chasing down my Golden Retriever, Stewie. He actually turned and headed directly at my dog who was running away as hard as he could. This man turned his head to face me and started laughing, then changed direction and took off. By this time I was speaking with the police dispatcher and they were sending someone along. 40 minutes later, they arrived… but not until after we had spoken to some people in the parking lot and got some information about where this guy lived and where his tracks led. Turns out his name is Gordon Viola, he lives at 44 Stillman Street in South Portland, (207) 799-7842. His property abuts the far southwestern end of the park, where he has a dog who is always chained up outdoors most of the year. I linked this here, because I want it to be seen by all that he’s claiming I made it from the back of his property to the parking lot of the park in 3 minutes. You have to scroll up on the map. Did I mention the knee-deep and wet snow?

I found his place, and then came back to the park to see if the police had arrived yet. They had not, but Gordon Viola was pulling out of the parking lot in a blue pickup with no front license plate. I blocked him from being able to exit by pulling my car up right in front of his at the park entrance, where I proceeded to get out and go to the back of his truck to get his tag number. That’s when all hell broke loose. The police were just arriving (40 minutes!?!) and he was yelling and screaming at Marie who was with me. She got out and started yelling at him. He backed his truck into the parking lot, and I pulled into the lot as well. I got out of the car to wait for the cops, when he came at me in his truck and hit me in the arm with his mirror. I have a nice bruise now.

During and after the time the police took our statements, Gordon Viola kept yelling at us and lying to the police about how he wasn’t there and how my dogs were on his (fenced in!!) property, and all sorts of other nonsense. It would have been impossible for me to have been anywhere near his property unless I was Superfuckingman and could run through the aforementioned snow. When he found that he wasn’t being believed by anyone (in or out of uniform) he then tried to tell people that Marie had assaulted him! It was getting desperate. Then he was yelling at the cops to and saying that nobody could “prove” that he owned a snowmobile. That’s when I handed the police my iPhone with some photos on it. This being one of them:

This is Gordon Viola, not riding a snowmobile. After the officer showed him the photo on my phone, he still denied he did it or that he owned or rode a snowmobile. The fact that several other people saw him, the tracks led to his house, and that he feverishly attempted to deny what happened even though the evidence was shown to him was all just a giant fabrication according to him. Psycho. Doesn’t he look like Dennis Rader - the BTK Killer? He was a ranting, raving, crazed lunatic with a serious chip on his shoulder and obviously no clue about how to vent his frustrations properly. Obviously, there is something wrong with this person to think that they can solve their problems by trying to kill uninvolved humans and canines.

I don’t know what the procedure is for dealing with this cocksmoker, and I’m not sure what the final disposition was with him for today, but I do know this: I’m not going to lay down and die. He had better have been placed in custody and arrested, because if not, there’s going to be a serious problem between myself and the South Portland police’s oversight committee. The officers on the scene were very nice, understanding, and patient with the situation as a whole, so I’m not going to say anything bad about them - there was nothing bad TO be said. There was also a nice guy there with his dog who’s wife is a lawyer, so we exchanged info and I plan on going after the incredible snowmobiling jackoff.

If you know anyone else who goes to Hinckley Park for fun with their kids, friends, or dogs, this should be important to you. This man must be taught a lesson and shown that he will not be allowed to get away with these types of things.

[Update: Fixed some massive grammatical problems - I posted this while still in pain and pissed off, plus I added Gordon Viola’s name to a bunch of places to get to the top of Google]